You have probably changed enormously over the years. You have undoubtedly gained experience, wisdom and resilience. Perhaps you’ve built a career, raised a family, survived difficult seasons and achieved things that your younger self could never have imagined.

Yet part of you may still see yourself through an old lens.

What Is Your Self-Image?

Your self-image is the picture you carry of who you are. It includes what you believe you are capable of, what you expect from yourself and what you believe is available to you.

Much of this picture was formed through earlier experiences. It may have been influenced by how other people treated you, the roles you were expected to play or the conclusions you reached during difficult moments.

The trouble is that an old self-image does not automatically update itself simply because your life has changed.

An Outdated Self-Image

Sometimes an outdated self-image looks like simply going through the motions because that is what we have always done. We keep ploughing the same patch of ground, following the same familiar furrows and wondering why nothing new is growing. Yet there may be a whole field beyond it, waiting for us to lift our heads, choose a different direction and make our mark somewhere new.

You may now be highly capable, yet still see yourself as someone who should not take up too much space. Even though you’re experienced, you hesitate to call yourself an expert. You may want a bigger life, while quietly believing that wanting more is selfish or unrealistic.

That creates an uncomfortable gap between the woman you have become and the woman you still believe yourself to be.

This is why capable women can sometimes feel strangely stuck. It is not because they lack ability, ambition or intelligence. They are trying to create a new future while remaining loyal to an old identity.

Changing Your Self-Image

Changing your self-image does not mean rejecting who you are or pretending to be somebody else. It means allowing your inner picture to catch up with the truth of who you are now.

Begin by noticing the language you use about yourself.

That is just how I am.

I have never been confident.

I am not good at putting myself forward.

People like me do not do things like that.

These statements may feel like facts, but they are often old conclusions repeated so frequently that they have become familiar.

Familiar does not necessarily mean true.

You can begin creating a more accurate self-image by asking different questions. What have you handled that once frightened you? What qualities have helped you reach this point? Where are you already stronger, wiser or braver than you give yourself credit for?

Your New Self-Image

Your new self-image should not be a fantasy. It should be an expanded and more compassionate truth.

Perhaps you are a woman who can trust herself.

What if you can be visible without performing?

Perhaps your age, experience and individuality are part of your value rather than something you must overcome.

You do not need to become a completely different woman.

You may simply need to stop seeing yourself through a picture that no longer fits.

If you’d like to chat this through, please drop me a line here and we’ll set up a free 30 minute coaching session or you.

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