When you feel stuck, it is natural to assume that you need more information. Perhaps another book will provide the answer. Another course will give you the missing strategy. Or maybe another plan will finally help you move forward.

But what happens when you already know what to do?

What if you know the conversation you need to have? Or you know the decision you need to make? What if you know the step you have been avoiding?

The problem may not be a lack of knowledge. It may be that an old belief or outdated self-image is quietly keeping you where you are.

Knowing Something Is Not The Same As Believing It

On a conscious level you can know that you are capable while still carrying a deeper belief that you are not ready. You can know that you deserve to be seen while believing that visibility is unsafe. Often, you’ll know that you want something more while feeling guilty for wanting it.

These beliefs do not always announce themselves clearly. They often appear through procrastination, indecision, overwhelm or the sudden urge to find another piece of information before you begin.

That is why more strategy does not always create change. You can keep adding new ideas without addressing the old story that is influencing your choices.

The Beliefs Running Your Life May Be Out Of Date

Many of the ideas we hold about ourselves were formed a long time ago. They were influenced by our families, our teachers, our communities and our early experiences.

Some of those beliefs may still support you. But others may no longer reflect the woman you are today. Even so, they can continue to affect how you see yourself, what you expect and what you believe is possible.

• You may be living by a rule that you never consciously chose.
• Perhaps you learned that it was safer to stay quiet, keep other people happy or avoid drawing attention to yourself.
• Maybe you came to believe that success required constant effort, sacrifice or struggle.
• You may have decided that you were not the sort of person who took risks, earned more or placed herself at the centre of her own life.

These beliefs may feel true simply because they are familiar.

More Learning Can Become Another Hiding Place

Learning is valuable. Strategy matters. Practical action is essential. But there comes a point when gathering more information becomes a way of delaying the moment when you have to trust yourself.

You do not need to know everything before you begin.

You may simply need to recognise the belief that is stopping you from using what you already know.

So instead of asking what else you need to learn, try asking:

• What am I afraid might happen if I take this step?
• What do I believe this decision says about me?
• Who would I need to become in order to move forward?

Begin With Curiosity, Not Judgement

It is easy to become frustrated with yourself when you keep repeating the same patterns. But judgement rarely creates lasting change. Curiosity, on the other hand, gives you somewhere to begin.

Listen to the words you repeatedly use about yourself.

• I am not ready.
• I always get this wrong.
• I cannot do that.
• People like me do not achieve things like that.

These thoughts may not be facts. They may simply be part of an old identity that no longer fits.

You are allowed to question them! You’re allowed to choose a new belief, and to become someone who responds differently.

Sometimes, the answer is not another strategy. Sometimes, the deeper work is changing the way you see yourself.

If this has given you food for thought, I’d love to hear from you. Drop me a message here and let’s start a conversation.

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